i waz missin somethin
somethin so important
somethin promised
a laying on of hands
fingers near my forehead
strong
cool
moving
makin me whole
sense pure
all the gods coming into me
laying me open to myself
i waz missin somethin
somethin promised
somethin free
a laying on of hands
i know bout/laying on bodies/laying outta man
bringin him all of my fleshy self & some of my pleasure
being taken full eager wet like i get sometimes
i waz missing somethin
a laying on of hands
not a man
laying on
not my mama laying/holdin me tight/sayin
i’m always gonna be her girl
not a laying on of bosom and womb
a laying on of hands
the holiness of myself released i sat up one nite walking a boardin house
screamin/cryin/the ghost of another woman
who waz missin what i was missin
i wanted to jump up outta my bones
& be done with myself
leave me alone
& go on in the wind
it was too much
i fell into a numbness
til the only tree i cd see
took me up in her branches
held me in her breeze
made me dawn dew
that chill at daybreak
the sun wrapped me up swingin rose light everywhere
the sky laid over me like a million men i waz cold/i waz burnin up/a child
& endlessly weavin garments for the moon
wit my tears

i found god in myself
& i loved her/i loved her fiercely

(excerpted from “A LAYING ON OF HANDS” from Ntozake Shange’s choreopoem For colored girls who have considered suicide/When the rainbow is enuf)