It’s Sunday and there is so much to do: 

I washed my linens & they I guess they’ll need to be put back on the bed. 

The kitchen lights need changing, and someone has to sweep up the busted bulb that fell on the floor. 

The dog was walked and will need another walk. 

The trashcan needs a new bag and the floors could do with mopping. There’s a sink full of dishes and recycling to carry out,

Emails to my grad school committee, and bills to read for work.

& I just spent $400 on extra therapy for the month. 

Maybe it was irresponsible for me to take off yesterday: I went to the gym, I had Ethiopian for dinner with my brother & his wife. We went back to their house to drink wine and laugh at trashy reality tv. I came home after 2am and fell into bed. I thought about driving past your place on the way home but thought better of it.

Yesterday, I wanted less time to turn over every moment when I should have noticed you were gone already. But there between my fingers full of injera, I remembered something painful. I scooped it up with a bit of doro wat and swallowed it anyway.

Today, I try to push it away between chores and lists of what I need to do. There is more to life than hoping you’ll call. Reasons to sit in my deck chairs besides hoping to see your car backing in to the parking lot. There’s mail to sort, scissors to put back in desk drawers, a soap ring in the tub to scrub. & The cats are always crying for food. When is there time to miss you?